Sis

Early this morning we sent Apple off to the airport. Two weeks… and it has just gone by so quickly. I want her to stay longer, indefinitely even, if possible. However, we all could only appreciate the fact that for now, the paths carved out for us are in different locations. Hers in Hong Kong, mine in Melbourne. For the moment… I say that because we are hopeful that one day we will set our bases in one single place, hopeful that one day we will not have to cram everything that we want to do together in a short two-week holiday.

I vividly recall the turning points in our lives when we made the decision to live away from our comfort zones, to explore and take on opportunities that have presented themselves to us. Apple got into a prestigious university in Hong Kong too difficult to pass up. That was three years ago. As for myself, the objectives I’ve set led me to Melbourne. That was almost three years ago as well. In between then and now, events occurred, experiences made, and they have only strengthened our minds in the belief that we have made the right decisions and broaden our horizons. However, these decisions come at a cost; for seldom does it happen that a gain of a good thing takes place without the compromise or sacrifice of an equally good thing. In our case, it has been three years since my sister and I have really spent endless moments together, endless in the sense that we are not wary of how much more time we have left for each other, not anxious of when we could find the next sisterly bonding time. I do not deny that occasionally I think about the could-have-been outcomes hadn’t we chosen what we chose. In more highly emotionally charged moments, I veer towards doubt and scepticism, questioning myself whether what we have gone for are worth all the trouble and the consequences of separation. This two week period that I got to spend time again with Apple, although short, was a time spent on finding again and reliving the days when we were younger and waking up seeing each others’ dishevelled selves, heckling each other, etc. It was something that we have normally taken for granted, at times perhaps even a cause of annoyance, but now being able to once again be around each other for almost 24 hours a day is such a freshness. Seeing her leave today pulled some heartstrings. The distance and separation hasn’t changed anything much, except for the obvious that now there’s more longing to stick together, more awareness of how precious each passing moment is.

It’s a whole lot of contradictions, the relationships of sisters are. They could be the closest friends yet the nastiest rivals. They could be bickering like crazy one second and sharing laughs, exchanging tips the next. They could be each other’s pickiest critic, at the same time the most trusted confidant. They could be the girl you’ve had the most nightmarish fights with, and yet also the one with whom together you have created the deepest, finest, defining moments of your life. They are the ones whom you were annoyed with all the time, but couldn’t get enough of all the same. They were perhaps the ones you had the most jealous fits with, although this does not take away the fact that she is also the same girl who you fervently want to see highly successful and happy. They could have, at one point or another, made you wish that they don’t exist at all, yet you would never imagine your world without them. Each could have followed different roads yet their lives will always be intertwined no matter what.

I have only one sister, in a family with a brood of four. Although 3.5 years apart in age, we have practically grown up side by side, sharing a room for more than 15 years, squabbling over cupboard spaces now and then, giving each other the cold shoulder once in a while. Funny thing is in spite of those things, we are close-knit. She probably knows me like the back of her hand, and I would say the same about her. Throughout the years and in my eyes, she has transformed from a mere little sister whom I have to share the limelight with… to a unique and talented individual whom I am most blessed to call a sister and a friend. Neither time nor distance has taken away the more important things from us. There is such thing as indescribable attachment, a different kind of friendship and connection. I feel it exists between us. Not everyone has the best relationships, and not everyone gets along with their siblings very well. Between my sister and myself, we have our shares of ups and downs, but all the same they lead to mutual caring. I’m lucky that ours is just the right blend, not perfect but one that is of genuine affection and love. We may not say it but we know it.

Hey sis, you rock. Looking forward to the next occasion when together we will paint the town red. A different city next time.