Fragments of Our Being

What would we be without a recollection of our past? What would become of us if completely stripped off of memories... of the last smile we saw, the last touch or hug we received... the voices of those closest to us? What would become of our existence if any familiar faces we try to recall in our minds won't form at all? Or would we, consumed with nothingness, cease to exist at all? Would losing all those mean losing ourselves?

Last night, we watched a documentary film called Unknown White Male. It is the true story of a man who wakes up and finds himself in a New York subway not knowing who he is, where he is going, what his past is. It's a wipe out of the past 35 years of his life. The rest of the film documented how pieces were connected and how this man tried to retrieve his life back by meeting again his friends and family, but as if for the first time. The irony is that in retrieving his life back he was actually starting a new life so different from the one he lived before, it is as if a whole new person has been reborn. From old videos and snapshots of this man before his memory loss, it was easy to tell that he has a certain air of cockiness, an arrogance and sureness of himself, straight-forward, with sarcastic humour, obviously driven and quite successful, and liked to be in the limelight - he played the centrestage role very well. The new person, interviewed and shown throughout the documenting of the film, reveals one who is sensitive, reflective, private. There's a whole new aura to the man that it really gave me goosebumps. A very insightful thought that hits the nail right on the head was quoted from the philosopher John Locke, that he surely is the same person, but questionably the same man.

Surely, an experience like this will scare the living daylights of any person. I wouldn't want to lost all those that made up me because I wouldn't want to lose me. With no past dreams to think about, past hurts, past love to feel, with no reference of anything at all... makes up nothing but just fragments of an unknown being. This makes one think about how much of our character and personality, our humanness, is really made up by the aggregate of memories, experiences we have that make us unique individuals. Without any of those, how can we say for sure who we are? With those altered and changed, we will never be the same person as we are now. To this guy, it seemed like he was wiped off and left as a blank piece of paper where he should start writing down and building his life, his new life, once again.

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Now, on to the wackier part of this post, sort of like a fun "personals" kind of survey... I was tagged by Mildred to answer the following questions.

THREE RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MY CLOSET:
1) Never big enough
2) Fully utilised
3) Smells good

THREE ITEMS I'VE NEVER WORN BUT STILL HAVEN'T TOSSED OUT:
1) A blood red cocktail dress bought last year - I suddenly felt younger for that kind of style
2) A couple of gym tops - somehow I kept on using the few old ones
3) A leopard print G-string that my crazy friends gave me 3 years ago!

THREE THINGS I WILL NEVER GET RID OF NO MATTER HOW UGLY THEY GET:
1) Andrew
2) Photos of family and friends
3) My passports

THREE ITEMS THAT PEOPLE WOULDN'T EXPECT TO FIND IN MY CLOSET:
1) Mothballs
2) Gun
3) Used Kleenex

THREE THINGS THAT MADE ME GO, OH LORD WHAT WAS I THINKING?
1) The second I jumped out of a plane from 12,000 feet
2) After managing to very quickly and sharply cut an 18-wheeler truck... never again!
3) After the 12th shot of cowboy + several glasses of port + some glasses of wine + another drink here and there..... And the next morning "Oh Lord, my head!"

THREE THINGS THAT I HAVE A SURPRISING NUMBER OF:
1) Tissue rolls - I keep on stocking them for some odd reasons!
2) Liquid laundry detergent - same as above!
3) Photographs

THREE DOMINANT COLORS IN MY CLOSET:
1) Black
2) Blue
3) White

THREE PEOPLE I WILL TAG:
1) Andrew
2) Boon
3) Zantha