Que Horror!

Something drew me into the basement store along Bourke Street. I went in and made a beeline for the DVD section further down the back. In less than five minutes, I have taken my pick of two DVDs, paid for them, and was out of there. To be added to our growing collection are The Shining and Poltergeist, both mind and bone chilling horror films which I have heard many good reviews of. The next thing to do now is gather up some friends for a night of horror and popcorns, how apt since Halloween is coming up. See, I love watching these kinds of movies, but I can never watch them by myself... I need several other people to share the panic and fright with me, as if the fear can be equally distributed amongst us.

Last weekend, I invited some friends over for dinner. Somehow in the course of the conversation, we drifted to the topic of the supernatural, magic, and the unknown. Now, I have quite a diverse group of friends here... Aussies, Malaysians, Indonesians, HKies... and each one has interesting tales to tell about the beliefs of people in his home country. I find a lot of similarities between the Malaysian and Indonesian "ghosts" and witchcraft to the ones we grew up knowing of (or hearing of) in the Philippines. My friend B believes in charms that are purposedly put on people to either make them do the charmer's bidding or to harm the one charmed; apparently this practice is done by a lot of Thais as well. I relate this to the Philippine version of "kulam," something I probably will never completely fathom but something I think of as vile and evil. How these charms are done, B did not elaborate, perhaps he is unsure as well, but I reckon it could be in many ways and only those who are in touch with witchcraft would know. He also narrated stories of a relative who has a third eye and could see things around him all the time. According to B, if one wants to go the forest or somewhere closer to nature for a specific purpose, then he should go there to do that activity only and nothing else. Say, if one says he would go fishing, then he should stick to that and not go hunting instead... else he might evoke anger from the unseen residents of the area. And before one proceeds, he has to ask a quick permission. One of his stories is about someone who peed by a tree, and in so doing he disturbed the being which lives in the tree... this man's skin turned rough and scaly like, and was apparently possessed by the spirit of the tree. It was only through offerings that his family was able to bring him back to his normal state. Isn't this quite similar to the Filipinos' stories of "nuno sa punso" and the like? Malaysians also believe that each house has a spirit that lives in it and which protects the house and its residents; therefore they take that a house that has been empty for too long is not good because that spirit will tend to invite other spirits into the place. A general notion of a haunted house?

Needless to say, that night after my friends all went home... I couldn't sleep... what with all those thoughts swimming in my mind.

Being the scaredy-cat that I am, you would have assumed that I avoid topics such as these or anything that will lure my mind to eerie thoughts. But no... because I've always had this fascination... alright, more of curiosity, on the unknown, the supernatural, ghosts, wandering spirits, beings of another world. As a child, my imagination would run amuck with thoughts of spirits that may be living in trees outside my bedroom window, or vampires that may be disguised as cats or big birds. I also never liked having big mirrors in my bedroom for fear of seeing "something" in it in the middle of the night. I would fall asleep scared, but wake up safe and still whole. Does that make me an unbalanced child? I scare myself, and yet I seek for more. One time when I was about 10 years old, I stayed at my cousin's place for the night. I had the weirdest, creepiest dream... I was running and running, almost out of breath, and they were closing in behind me, I had to run faster, quicker, but my feet couldn't take me any more further. They, the little people with very saggy faces and bodies that resembled melting candles were after me. Their grins were beastly, I felt that I was a prey. And finally one of them was about to grab me by the leg, its fingers slightly brushed my ankle, and I screamed. I woke up with a start, and when I narrated it to my aunt and grandma (they live in the same house), they were very disturbed and I heard my aunt mumble something about appeasing "them" with some offering of food, etc. After that dream, I found out that they believe that little people, or "dwendes" in Filipino, reside in their house. Someone must have seen them, or felt them, I don't know. Although I can not be certain if that has anything at all to do with the dream that I had, up to this day I could still vividly picture out that dream, and it doesn't fail to give me the chills. My dreams are from my subconscious, how can this be penetrated? I know of someone who had a dream of another person the night before the latter died. Mere coincidence?

Throughout the years, I became less affected, less scared, but not totally unaffected at all. I still believe that we are not the only ones in the universe, for thinking and believing so would be arrogance on our part. Curious as I am, I would no longer venture into trying dangerous stuff like playing Ouija, spirit of the glass/coin, etc... for who knows what kind of passer-by spirit one will accidentally invite.

Any thoughts?

Of Vanity and Wrong Identities

On to a lighter and funnier note... a couple of weeks ago, I was chatting on MSN with one of my siblings who is 4000++ miles away. Between us siblings, we don't have any qualms at all in taking the mickey out of each other, so long as everything is in the spirit of fun. And so therefore I am posting the MSN window that documented part of the conversation. A bit of facts first before you read on and enlarge the picture: JJ is my older brother; Jovivi is yours truly. I have deliberately blocked off the email address on the message window, for privacy's sake.

I couldn't help it; I just had to capture this image and convert it into a file (who knows it may become useful someday *evil grin*). I'm not sure though if my parents, once they see it, would find it hilarious at all. So... if I show this message box to anyone without further explanation, the conclusions that will arise would either be my brother has become a cross-dresser taking a new liking for stilettos and mini skirts, or that he has shockingly embraced a new "female" identity. :-) But since I don't want to tarnish the good name and reputation of this promising young bloke, the confession has to come out. My crazy sister was the one using my brother's MSN account... as she often does, tricky impostor! Go face the wall and stand in the corner until you're forgiven. :-)

Some Thoughts on Health Care

The other day I was reading a news in the papers about the Federal government's plan to overhaul and improve the payment process for those claiming for Medicare rebates. The plan was to set up a system wherein the holders of a Medicare card would be able to swipe this card in their doctor's office, the hospital, or any healthcare clinic, and the money owed would automatically be credited to their account. This proposal is aimed at increasing efficiency, and speeding up the process for Australian health care users to access health care funds. Once this is implemented and rolled out, just imagine how much more convenient and faster it will become for you and me to sort out medical bills; no more filling up forms and endless queueing in the Medicare office to lodge a claim.

This got me to thinking how lucky people here are compared to many other places. That bit of news is not even on the introduction of a national health care system, one that will entitle citizens and residents access to free or cheap consultation and treatment. Rather, that bit of news is a step ahead, it is on revamping the already existing system to provide users with better service. To address the basic needs of the people, which is access to health care, has already been put in place. To provide a cleaner, better payment system is obviously a bonus. Or at least that is what I feel; my sentiments may not be echoed by others as many would think that it is absolutely necessary for the government to give all these benefits, to make lives easier for its people.

If only every Filipino has this kind of health service available... to ensure that each one will receive basic treatment and be entitled to basic resources in the event of illness. Let's not even talk about an efficient payment system, but just the very basic availability of health service for all - rich or poor. People will be thankful and wouldn't mind queueing up for hours as long as there is treatment available... well, don't they do that anyway in many charity hospitals like the Philippine General Hospital (PGH)? Sad to say, such is not the case. I'm not even going to start on other more poverty-stricken countries. I would confine this discussion to something I am more familiar with and situations I have seen/direct exposure to.

When I was still an undergraduate student in UP, I was actively involved in a student-run, charitable organisation called Lingkod e.r. The mission is very simple - to provide direct and indirect financial assistance to indigents in Philippine hospitals. Like many groups with similiar cause, we did what we could to raise funds, solicit support, and raise awareness on the plight of the many people in need. I'd say that it was my major induction to the world of charity wards. It opened my eyes wider to the real state of charity hospitals in the Philippines. I wouldn't forget the image of the baby whose small body was wrapped in plastic to keep him warm because there was no incubator for him, nor the image of the man covered in wounds and gauze lying on a hospital stretcher but situated in the hallway because the wards were full, nor the child who has hydrocephalus who was waiting for a kind soul to sponsor his operation. The list goes on and on. There were countless accounts of patients not receiving treatment because they don't have enough to pay for some fees, patients dying from treatable infections just because there were no medicine for them, patients whose illness were aggravated due to the condition of the wards they were in. The place is cramped with so many people waiting to be given medical attention, relatives would be resting or sleeping on the floor beside stretchers; one or two small fans would be at work but failing to lessen the stale smell of the wards due to poor ventilation. In short, the situation is dire, and is not being helped with the government's continuous budget cut on health care. I no longer know how much the budget deficit is for PGH, but I believe that this deficit is so big that the Philippine's biggest charity hospital is at constant dependence on donations and help from charity groups. However, donations do not flow endlessly, the demand far exceeds the supply. For many of us who want to help, through volunteer work and pledging financial support, etc., we know too that there is also only so much one can do. It is difficult having that knowledge that there are so many indigent patients out there who may not have access to any form of assistance at all, but that perhaps is nothing compared to the difficulty that these people have to face, the knowledge that they could be cured... but only if they have enough funds...however not.

So count yourself lucky, if you have the means to buy private health insurance... if not, lucky even if you are under the shelter of a government health care system which actually gives and provides that benefit. Thinking about all these and remembering all that I have seen gives me a heavy heart. Everyday I count my blessings, and hopefully I would be able to share more of these.

Kenzan

Tucked in a cozy corner of Collins Place in Melbourne, Kenzan is buzzing with folks out for authentic, fresh Japanese dinner. A and I accidentally spied this place a few weeks ago when we went to watch a movie; A being an avid sashimi lover was keen on trying the place out while I, on the other hand, was doubtful as the restaurant looked quite secluded, cold, thus overpriced and over-rated. Anyway, it was already erased from my memory until today when A decided that we should have a special dinner... at none other than Kenzan, a place he hasn't even tried before, and obviously has been lingering in his thoughts for some time.

Apprehensive me agreed, partly for the want to test a restaurant, partly to satisfy A's longing for his raw fish that melts in the mouth with savoury goodness. And oh, today we start our 3rd year of being together... tee-hee-hee! Somehow this time of the year has always been hectic and busy for both of us. Last year A was frantic with preparation for his overseas conference that we had to defer any celebration, and this time around it's another whirlwind of unending deadlines and conference talk to polish. I was prepared to defer celebration for another year. =) And so it was extra surprising that he took the evening off with me to discover a new addition to our roster of recommended good food places. Kenzan did not disappoint, and when I say that better believe that it's worth trying out as we are quite picky and critical with restaurant food. My prior impression was proven wrong and I humbly accept A's smug "I told you so's"... so long as you're happy my dear. It was also only this evening that we realised that the place has been given an award by The Age Good Food Guide, review as follows:

"In a town where sushi can too often be a listless, clumsy imitation of the real thing, Kenzan provides a lesson in how to do it right. Gloriously fresh, brilliantly coloured and presented with artisan skill, Kenzan's way with seafood is truly inspiring."

Here's a quick peek to some of the stuff that we had... an entree of soft shell crab in special dipping sauce, main of sashimi/sushi combination set (huge platter to satisfy huge appetites I tell ya), another main of mouth-watering unagi on Japanese rice (which unfortunately we devoured before it had the chance to pose for the camera).

Gochisou sama deshita!

Go Run Your Own Life, Sucker!

The last thing I need and want to hear these days is a sequel of so-called advices (*unwanted and definitely not welcome*) about how I should be planning and running my life from people who assume too much and have the illusion that they know me all too well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to think that I'm all knowing and so above all creatures in this planet to be unable to take in other people's opinions. I appreciate comments and suggestions; in fact I don't mind being reprimanded or knocked back to my senses, provided that these are well-meaning and out of genuinely good intentions. I do muse over people's advice and weigh their suitability for application in a scenario. After all, we do learn from others and many times we realise something only when pointed out to us. In many occasions we fail to see things in some different angles that our friends would have seen, perhaps because our eyes are too fixated on something else, and sure it does help if they snap a finger and direct us to those information we were blind to. These are all good. However, it becomes different if what is thrown at you are mockeries and ill-willed remarks masked as words of concern and advice, made to satisfy a malicious pleasure to see you falter or become unsure of yourself. It becomes increasingly annoying especially when the person goes on and on, starts to pick on the different aspects of your life and your way of handling matters without giving a thought to the accuracy of his assumptions. It then becomes worse when the course of the discussion, which by the way I never have intended to be in in the first place, suddenly becomes a "compare my cards to your cards" game. Doh, I may be accommodating and I may indulge you with your self-praise at my expense, but I'm not sickeningly gullible and dense to be unable to decipher the pompousness in your tone.

People who truly know me would understand that I let no one steer my life's wheel for me. They too would know that as stubborn as I may get, I do listen and I do consult... but I think too. If I'm in a state of confusion and stress, it does not mean that I become brainless too. Irritation doesn't come along easily; with constant nagging, yes it may but as I've said if they're well-meaning, then everything's cool with me. Unsolicited advice?... bring them on, I don't mind. But once I sense pretentiousness and a nasty intent, in an attempt to either pull someone down or perhaps uplift his/her own sense of self up, then my sparks will fly. Honestly, what is wrong with these people?!! Excuse me, I can run my own life the way I wish to do so. If I stumble or find myself in some not so desirable situation due to my dangerously adventurous nature or impossibly stubborn head, then let me be because I am also very much capable of picking myself up and driving back to the main road, and I don't mind the scratches and the bruises. Besides, maybe it is best to remind you too that you have your own life, why not start minding it for a change?! As for your malevolent soul, purge it please. And next time, save your breath.

In A's opinion, I should think twice about posting this one since it is too fiery, too sharp as if it could slit throats. But you see, there is this side of me who knows how to get peeved as well. Is it such a negative thing? Oh well... just being human. Now, it's time to clear my head. The rant is out. Tomorrow will be great. :-)